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Thread: As my kids get older....

  1. #1
    Goatee Practitioner Danerada's Avatar
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    As my kids get older....

    I have two sons. My oldest is 17, a senior in H.S. and has committed to Ferrum College where he will be playing lacrosse and studying who knows what. When we met with the lacrosse coach, my son told the coach that he wanted to play lacrosse in college, however, he wasn't coming to college to play lacrosse. I started thinking about him in a different light at that moment. My baby boy is becoming a man that is beginning to know what he wants and what he doesn't want. Now - my son has always worked hard at lacrosse and academics. He is in the National Honor Society, is a two sport varsity athlete (football and lacrosse), carries a 3.75-4.0 GPA (depending on when you check the grades), treats others kindly and gets into a small amount of trouble every now and then (if he didn't I would think something was wrong with him). Knowing all of this, I was still surprised at his statement to the coach. It wasn't something we had discussed...it was him making sure he and the coach had an understanding. Anyway, I am treasuring my time with him more than ever lately and I am sad at the same time because I know he is moving on soon and we will be 6 hours from one another...

    My youngest is 11 and he is as non-athletic as they come. He is clumsy and uncoordinated like a newborn horse. But, he is one of the absolute coolest people I have ever met. He is always more concerned with others than himself; he loves a good laugh; he will drop whatever he is doing just to hang out with me; he will make someone a 100% priority if he thinks they are in need of a little pick me up. He is scary intelligent and affectionate to the same degree.

    When I was young, my mom and dad divorced, then my mom and my step-dad divorced...not really that uncommon these days. My mom worked 3 jobs trying to make ends meet so she was never home and there was no positive male role model in my life. My youth was full of anger, fighting, crime, etc...I think about the differences in my kids and myself at their ages and I am amazed at how they are turning out. There are glaring differences in our childhoods. My wife and I have been married for 20 years this coming February. We spend a lot of time with our boys. We take the time to figure out their passions and then we work with them to develop those passions without them even knowing it.

    So I have written all of this to ask you all - do you find yourself in awe of the people your kids are becoming? Are you like me in that you wonder...are these really my kids?!
    - Dane

    “He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine they made Sinatra look like a hobo.”

  2. #2
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    Dane,

    Congrats on doing so many great things for your sons. You have every reason to be proud. I have 2 daughters, one is 11 and the other is 8. We just had extended parent teacher conferences for both and I saw just how well they are doing in school. Each teacher commented on academics and on character and leadership in the classroom.

    Music is BIG in our house (imagine that, right?). My older daughter has participated in a non-school choir for 3 years now and sings beautifully. Just 2 days ago, she told me she was trying out to solo in her school choir, too. I was really proud that she has developed the confidence to try out (knowing that she may be disappointed), and also confident enough to know she'll be OK going front and center at the school choir concert in just a few weeks.

    So I get where you are coming from. What a great feeling.

    Marc

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    DEEPER STRIATIONS markie's Avatar
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    My kids are 35 & 33. They are both successful, have great jobs, beautiful children, live in extremely nice houses, & neither have ever asked me for a dime since they left my home. However, I am embarrassed to admit that I am constantly pushing them to a point of being a bit of a "Nag". I do try to remind myself of how good they have done & I am very proud of both of them. I hate being that guy......
    Fanboy of the Jester (AKA) James (Previously known as 11top)

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    Senior Member veinbuster's Avatar
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    Well done Dane.

    My daughters continue to amaze me with how giving they are. They've gone in very different directions, but they are both people I would choose as friends.

  5. #5
    My kids have always been high achievers, good to each other. to their friends and to our extended family. I truly admire them. I know how you feel, and wish that everyone could feel this way about their offspring.

  6. #6
    Senior Member themike's Avatar
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    I dont have any kids, that they can prove, so I must constantly impress myself with how awesome I am
    Paul Reed Smith 7 - S t r i n g A c t i v i s t | Fueled by P T C

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    Goatee Practitioner Danerada's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by themike View Post
    I dont have any kids, that they can prove, so I must constantly impress myself with how awesome I am
    NIIIICE!!!!!!
    - Dane

    “He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine they made Sinatra look like a hobo.”

  8. #8
    Recovering Bass Player ]-[ @ n $ 0 |v| a T ! ©'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danerada View Post
    So I have written all of this to ask you all - do you find yourself in awe of the people your kids are becoming? Are you like me in that you wonder...are these really my kids?!
    First let me say, Yang, that I really have a lot of respect for you - for lots of reasons. You are nobody's puppet. You can be counted on to be honest - even when it might hurt to hear some truth. You are a good man. Your children are a reflection of the Love you gave them. So its no surprise that they've turned out so well. And 20 years of marriage? That is honorary Sainthood!

    To answer your question about whether I find myself in awe of my child, I can only offer this photo. It is nothing if not a metaphor. Eden is the undisputed, heavy-weight, Love of my life. My Heaven on Earth. Whatever she does in this life, she's already exceeded all of my expectations.



    It would be rude of me not to give most of the credit for raising my daughter (this far) to Heather. She is an amazing Mother.
    Last edited by ]-[ @ n $ 0 |v| a T ! ©; 11-29-2012 at 10:15 PM.
    One Life

  9. #9
    Goatee Practitioner Danerada's Avatar
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    Hans - thank you for the kind words my friend. I could say all the same about you buddy...

    I like the idea of pics..so here is my clan. They are goofy and fun and full of love and life. They are loyal and an inspiration to me every day.

    Last edited by Danerada; 11-29-2012 at 10:06 PM.
    - Dane

    “He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine they made Sinatra look like a hobo.”

  10. #10
    SuperD Boogie's Avatar
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    Keep that perspective, brutha. It all moves so quickly and sometimes the droning of daily life washes out the sound of the good stuff. Heck I'm guilty of that too much. But as my kids headed to college, I remembered how much more help I needed as I was forging a life for myself and how valuable good advice was. My only advice...as you 'take the leash off' for good, only be a couple of steps behind and don't be afraid to step in and lend a hand because they will need it - just as we did. It's good to learn from our parents' mistakes and not repeat history (speaking for myself, obviously).

    You've done really well. Now enjoy it.

    Now, go hug that pretty wife of yours for me and tell her what a good job SHE did.

  11. #11
    Name Manglin' Putz alantig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ]-[ @ n $ 0 |v| a T ! © View Post
    It would be rude of me not to give most of the credit for raising my daughter (this far) to Heather. She is an amazing Mother.
    Really? An "amazing mother" does not, under any circumstances, let her child jump out of an airplane with only her father to catch her.

    My kids have amazed me at times. I still remember my daughter's first parent-teacher conference. The teacher told us what a quiet, polite girl she was. We asked if she was talking about the correct child. And my son, when I was 10 minutes late picking him up at preschool one day, was cleaning the room - unasked. It was the last time he ever did anything like that as far as I can tell!

    They've both grown up to be reasonably cool people. They still do things that frustrate me at times, but by and large they do things that make me proud. My daughter decided she wanted to be in color guard again in college, and when she transferred, she tried out and made it, and while she bitches about the hours and work at times, she puts her all into it. She's still the student she was in high school - we almost never have to bug her to get stuff done. She's on top of just about everything.

    My son had a slightly rougher adjustment to college, but he seems to be in the swing of things. He still has the attitude that he can wait until the last minute to get things done, but he gets them done. For as much as we had to bug him to get off his butt and finally get a job, once he started, he has been solid. He played four sports in high school - hockey for three years, football for one, and soccer and track for four. He was an awesome goalie in soccer, although for whatever reason he never got respect from his coach or his teammates. He started his junior year, averaged just over one goal against per game in section, kept his team in games they had no business being in, and was the only goalie to defeat the section champs that year (in fact, in two games against them - one win, one loss - the only goal he gave up was put in by his own player). After all that, at the first practice the next summer, when the first goal went in on him - in PRACTICE - the so-called superstar of the team said, "Can we please get a good goalie?" I give my son a ton of credit for sticking it out, and he handled it far better than I did. After all of that, in their only playoff game his senior year, trailing by a goal with about a minute left, a kid from the other team took off on his side of the field. My son ran a full out sprint for 70 yards and caught the kid and blocked the shot - with the goalie down. None of the defenders - in their own end - moved toward the kid. Then with about 30 seconds left, my son made a very calm throw-in that led to the tying goal - and got no recognition for it. But it didn't completely sour him on the game - he still referees, and makes sure he's available for the athletic association's tournaments (disclaimer - I ref, too, but because of him and because he needed rides).

    What's really cool is that they've both reached the age where we no longer the enemy - well, no longer always the enemy. And we don't have to worry about them - when they go out and the phone rings, we don't worry about it being the cops or anything like that.

    I guess I did something right!
    Alan

    "I watched approximately 45 seconds of 'Rock Of Ages'. It was like getting punched in the soul." - Abby Krizner

  12. #12
    Goatee Practitioner Danerada's Avatar
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    Sounds like you did Alan....

    Quote Originally Posted by alantig View Post

    I guess I did something right!
    - Dane

    “He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine they made Sinatra look like a hobo.”

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    Ginger and I are especially proud of Jeremy (30) and Kimberly (27). Both are extremely successful...to the extent that I don't understand what my son...the NASA private contracted Rocket Scientist does....other than to acknowlege that he designs the craft that brings the supplies up to the international space station. My daughter has channelled her career as a professional dancer, cheerleader, pharmaceutical sales rep. and Ricoh sales person into her dream job....national sales manager for a cheerleading organization that will not only pay her extremely well, but allow her to do what she loves. As Markie said above, neither has asked for a penny since they have moved out, and to be honest...they are both in a better position to lend me money than the reverse.
    The next year will be hectic as we plan Kim's upcoming wedding to a very nice Engineer (we seem to attract that line of work for some reason) and hopefully we will get through it without my having to sell off too much of my PRS collection.

    But....to respond to the OP...yeah...I sometimes look in awe at the kids and wonder how the hell they turned out so well with Ginger and I as role models.

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