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Thread: OK, It's holiday time again. And, I know it's been done before......

  1. #1
    Senior Member 11top's Avatar
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    OK, It's holiday time again. And, I know it's been done before......

    .....because I've started it. But, if we can watch it over and over and over and laugh til we cry, then we can repeat our favorite lines over and over and over, so.....................

    WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE CHRISTMAS VACATION LINE?

    I'll start with the all-time classic (which also appears at the bottom of each of my posts):



    Last edited by 11top; 12-05-2013 at 01:24 PM.
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  2. #2
    Auth. PRS Dealer Brian G's Avatar
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    Eddie...if I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.

    Also, I laugh so hard at how much of a close talker Eddie is in the eggnog scene.

  3. #3
    Senior Member sergiodeblanc's Avatar
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    "Watch me lay dust... Eat my rubber."

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    Senior Member jfb's Avatar
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    You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
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    My name be scrambled ElrytNamrogo's Avatar
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    Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d*ckless, hopeless, heartless, fat-a$$, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey sh*t he is! Hallelujah! Holy sh*t! Where's the Tylenol?

    Couldn't remember all of it, so I cheated a bit....
    --Tyler G--
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  6. #6
    Bobble Head Moderator JMintzer's Avatar
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    "Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an ******* in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer…"

    And my absolute favorite…

    "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f@#king Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white @ss down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of @ssholes this side of the nuthouse".
    ---Jamie---

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  7. #7
    Dislocated Boy Tosca's Avatar
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    "Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - browsing. I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn't... Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?"
    "You have your coat on."
    "Yes, oh do I? Yeah, it is a bit nipply out. I mean nippy. What am I saying, nipple?"
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  8. #8
    Prince of Paisley iahawk36's Avatar
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    "She's a BEAUT, Clark!"
    "He's kind of like a bear at a campsite...you think he's cute and kind of want to hug him, but in the end you know he's dangerous and is going to stomp on your tent and eat all your food..." - martysnarf

  9. #9
    Senior Member 11top's Avatar
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    I'm LOL at every one of those! How did that movie not win the Academy Award for best picture?

    < He wants to know, too.
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    Opaque John Beef's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iahawk36 View Post
    "She's a BEAUT, Clark!"
    This CONSTANTLY runs through my head when I'm looking at guitar forums.
    The Bovine Fury <-- stream and download our album "Eleven by Twelve" for free.
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  11. #11
    Senior Member 11top's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Beef View Post
    This CONSTANTLY runs through my head when I'm looking at guitar forums.
    You serious, Clark?
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    That Video Guy crgtr's Avatar
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    We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f@#king Kaye.
    Mentioned earlier, but I love this line!
    Chris Reynolds...Nashvegas TN
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    #1 fan of Doug "DA MAN" Sewell!!

  13. #13
    Senior Member 11top's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sergiodeblanc View Post
    "Watch me lay dust... Eat my rubber."
    "Eat my road grit, Liver Lips."
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    Just a member JustRob's Avatar
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    "Aww he's just yakin' on a bone... It's OK! He got it up."

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    Bobble Head Moderator JMintzer's Avatar
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    "He's cute ain't he? Only problem is, he's got a little bit a Mississippi leg hound in 'im. If the mood catches him right, he'll grab your leg and just go to town. You don't want him around if you're wearing short pants, if you know what I mean. Word of warning though, if he does lay into ya, it's best to just let 'im finish."

    ---Jamie---

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  16. #16
    SuperD Boogie's Avatar
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    "If you don't mind Clark, I'd like to fumigate this here chair. It's a fine quality item."
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  17. #17
    Just a member JustRob's Avatar
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    JustSteve

    Aunt Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?
    Clark Griswold: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.

  18. #18
    Senior Member 11top's Avatar
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    Eddie: "Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic, getting cured off the Wild Turkey. And, the older boy, bless his soul, is preparing for his career."
    Clark: "College?"
    Eddie: "Carnival."
    Clark: "You got to be proud."
    Eddie: "Oh, yeah. Yeah, last season he was a pixie-dust spreader on the Tilt-O-Whirl. He thinks that maybe next year, He'll be guessing people's weight or barking for the Yak woman. You ever see her?"
    Clark: "No."
    Eddie: "She's got these big horns growing right out above her ears. Yeah, she's ugly as sin, but a sweet gal. And, a hell of a good cook."
    Last edited by 11top; 12-06-2013 at 11:19 PM.
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  19. #19
    SuperD Boogie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 11top View Post

    This is why Markie doesn't wear socks. He'd be mistaken for cousin Eddie when pushing a snow blower.
    Last edited by Boogie; 12-07-2013 at 08:54 AM.
    + '01 Custom 24 + '11 DGT Standard (Mr. Clean) + '09 SE One + Super Dallas + Stealth 2x12+

  20. #20
    A♥ hoards guitars A♥ rugerpc's Avatar
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    Eddie: Don't go puttin' none of that stuff on my sled, Clark. You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced, cause every time Catherine revved up the microwave I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for a half hour or so. So over at the VA they had to replace it with plastic. It ain't as strong so I don't know if I should go sailin' down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.

    Clark: You really think it matters, Eddie?
    Thbbbbbt...
    Check it out: Phillybri used to have a band: Resonance But he's soooo over them now!

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